Saturday, August 21, 2010

Wise Women

I have very wise friends in my life. Thankfully. And lucky for me, I always turn to them when I'm feeling crappy. After reading the weekly update the other day, I did what I always do. First, I wrote it all down. Write it down and get it out of my head.

And then I called someone. My practical friend Hope was the lucky one to talk me off the ledge this time. First, in her very matter-of-fact way, she said, "Wait, you were counting on 18 months, instead of 22. They told you 16 to 22 months, so we should be thinking 22 months. If it's earlier, then bonus."

And she's right. As she usually is.

But I was still thinking. Still planning. Or trying to. Is it worth throwing away the almost $10,000 I've already invested in the process so far to sign up with one of the others that has a shorter wait time? Of course I know the answer to that, but an even better reason was pointed out by Chris.

This extra time gives me time to save, it gives me time to gather and nest. An extra 10 months early is not worth $10,000. And there are never any guarantees.

I wouldn't have my new dossier in before court reopens in October, and what if Ethiopia decides to cut off single women? I'm screwed. At least now, I'm in. My paperwork is all in.

And then Lesley...who doesn't think 20 months sounds that far off, she's just lamenting that we live so far away from each other, that she's just moved even further south when I'm about to be a mom. I reminded her that she gets to the be first one to meet the baby.

And so I've shaken off the sting of the new actual date. I'm still planning, still saving, still gathering and nesting. And I have very wise friends.


  1. You spent $10,000 already with WHFC? I don't think I spent that much because I was so impressed that other agencies ask for a lot up front, and they don't.

    I have everything in, but I am not sleeping sound. WHFC said that until a referral is accepted they don't really know about you. There is no guarantee of grandfathering prior to that, and I am not sure it is ever a sure thing. I am not trying to scare you, but I did say that now that everything was in for me, I should be grandfathered in as a single, and they did not say that would happen. You and I are in the same boat.

    At the same time I feel ok right now.. Of course don't ask me that the week or two when courts reopen. That will be when I am on the ledge.

  2. I haven't spent $10,000 with WHFC, far less than that, but about that in the entire process so far. It would just be insane for me to start this all over from the beginning, even though I know some stuff could be transferred over.

    And yes, I'm trying not to think about October. I will need to get through two more Octobers most likely until I get my referral. Yikes.

    Take a breath...

  3. Right. I mean we can't control the situation only ride it out. I think I am pretty close to you on the list for infant may 27 here. arent you may as well?