Monday, February 28, 2011

Stan the Man -- March Raffle

* 22 seasons with the St. Louis Cardinals
* a record 24-time All-Star
* 3,630 lifetime hits
* 475 home runs
* named NL MVP three times
* Elected to the Hall of Fame in 1969 (the year before I was born)

...but perhaps the most important part of his career, missed the 1945 season to serve in the US Navy; and last month was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom (the highest honor that can be bestowed to a civilian.

Tickets are $5 each or 5 for $20.

And the February winner is.....

Nina of Claremont CA -- another PAP (prospective adoptive parent)!

Congrats Nina!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sneak Peak, part 2

I spent a lovely Sunday afternoon my friends the rotary cutter and sewing machine, and finished the top of the April quilt!

On to the batting and backing in the next couple of weeks.

Friday, February 25, 2011

What a Difference a Year Makes

The Emotional

Last year, on this day, Ithaca was preparing for "snow-meggedon," and I was on my way up to the hospital lab for what would be my last blood test. I worked from home, thankfully, because when the call from the doctor's office came, telling me for the 12th time that I wasn't pregnant, I laid on the living room floor and sobbed harder than I've ever cried before.

I couldn't catch my breath. I instant messaged Hope and she called, just to listen to to me cry, just to be on the other end of the phone. We didn't talk, but she was there. I tried to catch my breath as I paced the living room, not knowing what to do next, not knowing what it all meant.

It was the end, or so I thought.

Fast forward, somehow I've compartmentalized that pain -- and every now and then it re-appears -- and I've moved on. And just as I wrote about the next day, I packed up that plan, pushed it aside and went on to the next.

A year later, I cannot even imagine not doing this. I no longer imagine a little red-headed baby, a tiny little peanut that I would hold in the hospital. I don't even think about that baby anymore. I think about a baby who's about 10 months old -- sometimes she's older, sometimes he's younger -- with big, dark eyes, and beautiful dark skin.

A year ago, I laid on the floor and cried. This year, there are still some tears, but they are few and far between.

The Physical

I have been off the hormones for exactly one year. Over the course of three years, I gained 43 pounds. And while I hated it, hated what the past three years had done to my body, I honestly didn't have it in me yet to do anything about it.

At first, I gave myself until after my birthday. April came and went. Then I thought I would start working out again in the summer. I did -- half-heartedly.

And just as time heals all wounds, my motivation slowly came back. I am a year older, a year healthier.

I'm down 26 of the 43 pounds, and back to being that annoying person who says at the gym "I can't wait to be back here tomorrow."

And the photo evidence -- me on my birthday last April and more recently at a cancer fund-raiser a few weeks ago. Sort of the "before" and the "middle"....

Sunday, February 20, 2011

A Sneak Peak the April drawing.

I worked on the quilt blocks this weekend. Now I need to get material for the sashing, the back and the binding.

Going into the weekend, I was worried that I only had a month to get it done. Coming out of it, I feel pretty good that I'll have it done by the end of March, to be posted on April 1.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


I've been on the waiting list nine months. The length of a real pregnancy.

Some days it seemed much much longer, others it has flown by. Here's hoping the next nine fly by.

Nine months down...nine to 15 to go.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Not Quite Forrest Gump

I have creeky knees. I had reconstructive surgery on both of them when I was in high school. But I still think I can run. I'm strong, I'm fit, and I'm going slowly, but it seems to be going very slowly.

I start out so strong on Mondays, but my legs are exhausted by the end of the week. And lately, my knees have been aching with the running. I'm pushing through, and figure if I can't run the 5K, I can walk it damn fast.

At the end of last week, they were more than achy, they were in pain. Over the weekend, I tried to run, even with my brace on my leg. It didn't last long. So I'm taking this week off from running.

Even when I feel like I want to, I'll stop myself. Even when Ricky Martin comes on the iPod, I'll push past him and find something that doesn't make me want to run.

I was in a rotten mood all weekend, and I didn't really know why. And tonight, at the gym, when my endorphins kicked in and I wanted to run, I figured out that my mood could have been due to the fact that I'm disappointed yet again in my body for failing me. First my uterus, now my knees.

It's silly, I know. And I really shouldn't equate infertility with bad knees. But I want to run, dammit.

And for as hard as I work five or six days a week at the gym, for as strong as I am, I should be able to run.

Hopefully a week off, a week of really hard walking, of hills, of the elliptical, and next week, next week I'll not only feel strong, but I won't feel achy when it's over. Next week, I'll try to be Forrest Gump again.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Waiting (Im)patiently

Two weeks ago I posted about the wait times being extended. My friend Chris read that and found this for me. I received it in the mail yesterday.

I just love it. And know how lucky I am that I'm not waiting -- patiently or not -- alone.

Updated: Here's the link where you can find this necklace.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Happy Birthday, Babe!

From 2000 to 2004, when I lived in Baltimore, every February 6 meant buying a birthday cake. Getting champagne and ginger ale. Lining up a guest speaker. And making sure I would have at least one television camera present.

All so a group of people could sing happy birthday to someone who had been dead since 1948. But this isn't just anyone, it's the greatest baseball player of all time.

* 714 home runs
* .342 batting average
* 2873 hits
* 94-46 pitching record with an ERA of 2.28
* 29 2/3 consecutive scoreless innings pitched in the World Series

So today I wish my dear "friend" George -- and since I spent five years being his spokesperson, that's how I've always thought of him -- a happy 116th birthday!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

February Raffle

One of the few for all you non-sports people.

A beautiful set of hand-crafted stationary set (thank you Jan Kehrli)...

and stunning hand-bound journal (thanks Jen Savran Kelly) and pen...

By now you know the drill. Tickets are $5 each or 5 for $20, and you're entered in each drawing from now until the end in June. All proceeds go toward my adoption-related expenses.

And for my Facebook Friends Challenge, I've passed 10%. Can I get 20% participation by the end of February?

And congratulations to Ryan P. of Horseheads NY for winning the Peyton Manning picture.