Friday, December 31, 2010
*Gym....at least four times a week (I know once campus re-opens, it will be at least five, but since I haven't worked out since before Thanksgiving, before my work trip, before getting sick, I'll start slow)
* Lose the other half of the "baby" weight and then some
* Be more positive
* And for anyone who knows me, and knows what a picky eater I am, you'll appreciate this one....eat at least one veggie a day (I'll need to set good habits for my kid, right?)
Happy new year!
Thanks to all who have purchased tickets so far. I'm really excited about the next six drawings.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
I bit my lip, uttered out my "amen" as I received communion and tried like hell not to cry. Eyes welled, I looked up and blinked furiously. All around me were babies. And two years ago, there was a baby growing inside of me.
These holidays are not my favorite time of year anyway. The lead-up, the anticipation -- love it. Love to shop, love to decorate, love the music and the movies. The actual day, I could honestly sleep through.
If you're single and/or childless, and live in a family and/or society that expects you to get married, raise a family, and revel in all of that....then add in the holidays, when said family/society gathers to celebrate it all....well, you get my point.
I'm hoping that I'll have a referral by next Christmas -- it's a long shot, but something to hold out hope for -- and then maybe I'll finally be able to enjoy the holidays. And while I'll never forget the baby that grew inside of me, beginning the day before Christmas Eve two years ago, I'm hopeful that a new baby, my baby who may already exist on the other side of the world, will fill the hole in my heart and help me focus on Christmas Present.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
There were eight referrals for babies under 2 years old -- which puts me eight babies closer to my own. Estimated waiting times are still in the 16- to 22-month range (and that's what I need to still figure on). Actuals for 0-12 month olds are hovering at 20 to 21 months, but the actual wait times for this batch of 13-24 month olds being referred was 15-18 months.
Again, I know I really need to stay thinking about 16 to 22 months for my wait, but as we are a mere 16 days away from 2011, it makes me think that possibly, just possibly, at some point in 2011, I could find out I'm someone's momma.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
or another sending an email on the 16th, congratulating me on my next month milestone that happens the next day,
or the high school friend who called me this morning for my Capital One account number so she could transfer 30,000 miles to my account,
or the colleague/friend who asked me if it made me sad when I found out other people were pregnant,
or the other high school friend who has so much conviction about what a great mom I'll be, she herself being a a child of color adopted by white parents,
These are the things that make up for those who maybe don't understand or know how to be happy about the biggest thing I am about to do in my life, these are the thing that will get me through the next year and a half.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
When I applied for all of them, I told myself if I didn't get them that it meant another family needed the money more than I did. It's hard to think that way when I received a form letter in my email:
Thank you for applying for a grant from XXXXX.
Unfortunately, we are not able to grant your request. We received an overwhelming response to our call for applications and had a limited amount of funds to disperse.
Though we understand that it is no consolation for the disappointment you much feel at receiving this news, please know that we are actively working to increase the amount of funds we can grant in the future. Our commitment to helping families grow through adoption only becomes stronger with each letter like this that we must send.
We sincerely wish you all the best as you continue your adoption journey.
Oh well....on to the next thing, I suppose. It did make me feel better to read on their website that they gave grants to a two single mothers as well as a same-sex couple. At least I know (like I suspect with the first grant I didn't get) that my singleness didn't play into it.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Most years, my tree has mostly sports-themed ornaments on it, plus a few special homemade ones and Casey's ornaments (she gets one each year and I've marked the back with the year). Three years ago I added a silver "wish" ornament from Red Envelope -- you're supposed to write down your wish on a small slip of paper, put it in the ornament and not open it until the following year. Each year, Jill takes the paper out, throws it away and gives me a new slip. Each year, the wish hasn't come true. I think, I'm pushing it a little in writing my wish down for next year, but it's entirely possible that I could have a referral by the time we put the tree up next year. We'll see.
This year's tree (as it was last year) is mostly Yankees and baseball. There are a few exceptions. Casey's ornaments, one each year since I found her in 1998....
...an ornament for Johnny Unitas...
...but mostly Yankees, Babe...
...and lots of Derek.
It's a sickness, I know.
And Casey, enjoying her time on the tree skirt....and knocking over the wise men.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Sandy currently lives in Maryland (so another win for Maryland), but Sandy and I met when we worked together at the Science Center in Rochester (so maybe a half a win for New York?).
In any event, I'm thrilled with the generosity of my friends, who continue to surprise and support this seemingly, never-ending wait of mine.
And speaking of generosity of friends, don't forget to check out the beautiful baby blanket that Claudia hand-knit for the December raffle.
The December raffle is a beautiful hand-knit baby blanket, made from Alpaca wool by my friend Claudia (the chicken mom).
The picture isn't doing it justice, but here it is.