Thursday, July 28, 2011

Feeling Good about Change

As I've mentioned in several posts, I am feeling disconnected from Ethiopia but also from my placement agency. Because they have no answers, because I'm frustrated, because they've raised their rates again and I've lost my case manager again, and because I need someone to blame, I guess. Some of my frustration is misdirected at them, I know this, but some of it isn't.

And I'm not the only who feels this way and I'm so proud of two friends in particular who took matters into their own hands.

T left the Ethiopia program and our shared agency and connected with another. And as I write this, she is in Haiti meeting her son. She will not be able to bring him home until the spring probably, but she has her son and she's with him right now.

C was also frustrated with the wait going on longer than anticipated, and switched programs (to China Special Needs) within our shared agencies. Wait time, no tangible answers -- it was the same frustration all over again. She switched agencies and now has a daughter. She won't be able to bring her home until just after the holidays, but she has her daughter. With a photo and a history and a name.

I guess I'm hoping to have the same luck with domestic. Going into this, you hear umpteen times that when you have your child home, you will need to be an advocate for him, for his needs, for his adjustments, to help him bond and feel secure.

What no one told me, but what I've learned, is that you also need to be an advocate for yourself. Don't just sit back and wait. Don't accept it what you hear. If someone says that as a single woman, you are not a viable candidate for domestic adoption, don't accept that as fact. Break the myths. Find out what else you can do. Make it happen.


  1. You tell 'em! I admire your tenacity.
    :) Heather

  2. I agree.. and if you accept a referral, don't sit back and wait for others to find out about embassy. I would definitely play a larger role in finding out what was happening in Ethiopia. I didn't appreciate their wanting people "not" to go there until you had a date. Everyone there seemed beyond happy for me to be there.. and to think I almost listened and waited....