She tried to get my attention, I knew that, but she was only trying to make eye contact. She did not talk to to me (I would have said hello), I did not hurt her nor was I mean to her.
So before you sigh loudly, before you tell your older child that I must not like kids, before you think inwardly that I'm a bitch, before you judge me...
You know nothing of my journey. Thirteen IUIs/IVFs...two pregnancies...two miscarriages. Two years trying to adopt.
But I've come to terms with all of that. The trigger....the thing that still is a punch in the gut...is the red hair.
What you don't know, what you can't know and what people in my own life probably don't realize...All of my assisted reproductive attempts were made with sperm (and one egg) donors with red hair, in the hopes that I would get my own mini-me.
So have some empathy for the unknown. Look beyond the nose on your face and think that the expression on my face is not one of annoyance at your child, but sadness for an unfulfilled dream. You don't need to know what the dream is, just have empathy for the stranger who can't make eye contact with a three year old.
xoxo, the girl with the broken uterus