I spent the day at a three-year-old's birthday party. I got lots of hugs from the birthday girl's baby sister and another friend. I was specifically drawn to the friend. While she ended up being late, her mother was due for her on 9/12/10 -- which was my due date.
Hailey gave me lots of hugs and I heard lots of "up" from her. I looked at her and wondered if I had a boy or a girl in me for those six weeks; either way, this is about the size it would be right now.
Where once I would have been bitter and angry and sad, today I was only a little sad, maybe a little wistful.
People have told me to boycott these events. I can't. And the two baby showers we will need to plan at work this spring. I'm the party planner at work. I will do it.
And maybe now that I know this is my new normal, it will be easier because I'll know that I won't be bitter and angry, just a little sad. And that I can handle.