A few people have asked me if Ethiopia is completely off. The best answer I can give is "I don't know."
I am still on the wait list with my placement agency. My documents are currently all up-to-date. We have recently received news that WHFC is in the process of working with more orphanages in the northern regions of Ethiopia. That should be good news.
However, since the MOWA news in March, the following things have happened, causing me to lose a little faith:
1. The placement agency has increased fees again. Last year it was $500; this year $2500.
2. A day or two after news of the increase, I received an email stating that my case manager was leaving WHFC. Her last day was the next day! I understand there is turnover -- this is actually my second case manager to leave -- what disturbed me was not only the timing related to the fee increase but also that there was such short notice in the announcement related to her last day.
3. And perhaps the most discouraging news, is that in the month of May there were only 4 referrals. In June, there have been none. Compare that to last year when there were 11 and 10, respectively in the months of May and June.
I'm honestly not sure what it all means or what I'm supposed to feel. Since this process started 13 months ago, I have always felt very connected to Ethiopia. And I can sometimes picture what my child would look like. Now, I think I just feel completely neutral. I have no feelings about Ethiopia right now.
With new paths ahead, I need to refocus my mind and re-visualize (lessons from the Fertility Guru) what my child will look like.