Making my heart match my head

The weekend is looming less than it did a week ago. I'm not sure what that means, but I'll take it.

I did three-day refresh in two-days -- by the end of day two, I knew that I had accomplished what I wanted to and just needed to get more calories and protein! in my belly. And I'm slowly beginning to emotionally accept this is my happy weight. I'm there logically, rationally...the heart is bringing up the rear.

One area where I've been struggling with is with one of my trainers at the gym. She was going through rough patch last year with her personal life (like dying parent rough) and so I let it go. When I hurt my ankle last fall and ended up in PT for almost three months, there were (and still are) some ways where I just can't bend my ankle. I just don't have the flexibility on that side and so I modify my lunges. I go on the end of my toes, so there is no bend in my ankle. In the fall, she gave me a "throw up her hands" attitude that the way I was doing was doing me know good.

So I adjusted my schedule (for multiple reasons) and I go at times where she's not my trainer. There are times, though, when I have a session to make up or I have the day off and want to go in the morning. Monday was one of those days and I got some attitude again from her about the way I was doing reverse lunges and the way I was doing some core exercises. When I said, "we made some modifications the other day because of my lower back," she didn't accept it. She had me do it a different way and I must have made a face though I didn't realize it, because suddenly she said, "just do it the way you want."

It's a small gym -- a private studio really. And I'm friends with the owner. I'm only there another few months. I think my year is up in early May and then I think I'm going to try Orange Theory -- it feels like the same sort of thing. Appointment gym. 60 minutes of strength and cardio. One to two days a week.

So what do I do? Passive aggressively avoid this one trainer and enjoy my time there? Say something to the owner? Have a conversation with the trainer? Honestly, I think I only have the energy for the first option, but maybe that'll change.  What I do know if that when I work out with this specific trainer, I don't get that feeling of empowerment that made me so happy that I ended up going back to the gym.

I'm going in tonight, with the trainer I have a better relationship with, so I'll see how i feel after that workout.