I have creeky knees. I had reconstructive surgery on both of them when I was in high school. But I still think I can run. I'm strong, I'm fit, and I'm going slowly, but it seems to be going very slowly.
I start out so strong on Mondays, but my legs are exhausted by the end of the week. And lately, my knees have been aching with the running. I'm pushing through, and figure if I can't run the 5K, I can walk it damn fast.
At the end of last week, they were more than achy, they were in pain. Over the weekend, I tried to run, even with my brace on my leg. It didn't last long. So I'm taking this week off from running.
Even when I feel like I want to, I'll stop myself. Even when Ricky Martin comes on the iPod, I'll push past him and find something that doesn't make me want to run.
I was in a rotten mood all weekend, and I didn't really know why. And tonight, at the gym, when my endorphins kicked in and I wanted to run, I figured out that my mood could have been due to the fact that I'm disappointed yet again in my body for failing me. First my uterus, now my knees.
It's silly, I know. And I really shouldn't equate infertility with bad knees. But I want to run, dammit.
And for as hard as I work five or six days a week at the gym, for as strong as I am, I should be able to run.
Hopefully a week off, a week of really hard walking, of hills, of the elliptical, and next week, next week I'll not only feel strong, but I won't feel achy when it's over. Next week, I'll try to be Forrest Gump again.